What does the Bible say about dating?

Q: What does the Bible say about dating?

The Bible never mentions "dating" — it is a modern custom, and arranged marriage was the norm in biblical cultures — so there is no chapter-and-verse on how to date. What Scripture gives instead are principles that apply to any path toward marriage: pursue it with purity ("abstain from fornication," ; "flee fornication," ); be intentional, aiming a romantic relationship toward the lifelong covenant marriage is for (); seek shared faith ("be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers," ); weigh character over appearance ("the LORD looketh on the heart," ; "favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain," ); and treat the other person as a brother or sister "with all purity" (), loving them the way describes. Whether that takes the shape of modern dating or a more structured "courtship" is a matter of wisdom, not biblical command.

Relationships

Short answer

The Bible never mentions "dating", it is a modern custom, and arranged marriage was the norm in biblical cultures, so there is no chapter-and-verse on how to date. What Scripture gives instead are principles that apply to any path toward marriage: pursue it with purity ("abstain from fornication," 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5; "flee fornication," 1 Corinthians 6:18-20); be intentional, aiming a romantic relationship toward the lifelong covenant marriage is for (Genesis 2:24); seek shared faith ("be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers," 2 Corinthians 6:14); weigh character over appearance ("the LORD looketh on the heart," 1 Samuel 16:7; "favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain," Proverbs 31:30); and treat the other person as a brother or sister "with all purity" (1 Timothy 5:1-2), loving them the way 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 describes. Whether that takes the shape of modern dating or a more structured "courtship" is a matter of wisdom, not biblical command.

Question

What does the Bible say about dating?

Analysis

Why there is no "dating" verse

Scripture assumes a different social world (family-arranged marriage), so it gives transferable principles rather than a dating method. The principles below come from the Bible's teaching on purity, marriage, singleness, and love.

The guiding principles

Principle	Texts
Purity before marriage	1 Thessalonians 4:3-5; 1 Corinthians 6:18-20; Hebrews 13:4
Intentional toward marriage	Genesis 2:24; 1 Corinthians 7:36-38
Shared faith	2 Corinthians 6:14; 1 Corinthians 7:39 ("only in the Lord")
Character over appearance	1 Samuel 16:7; Proverbs 31:30; 1 Peter 3:3-4
Treat them as family, with respect	1 Timothy 5:1-2
Love that is patient and kind	1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Self-control and timing

The Song of Songs repeats a refrain not to "stir up, nor awake" love "till he please" (Song of Songs 2:7; Song of Songs 8:4), a caution against rushing romantic intensity ahead of commitment. Self-control is a fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23).

Courtship vs. dating (a method debate, not a command)

Some Christians prefer a more structured, marriage-focused "courtship"; others practice ordinary dating with the same principles. The Bible commands the principles (purity, intentionality, shared faith, honoring the other person) but does not prescribe the method, so this is freedom to be worked out with wisdom and counsel (Proverbs 15:22), and Christians land differently.

Sources, trace every one

Every cited verse, in full. Tap any reference to open it in the reader.

1 Thessalonians 4:3bsb
For it is God’s will that you should be holy: You must abstain from sexual immorality;
1 Corinthians 6:18bsb
Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a man can commit is outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body.
Genesis 2:24bsb
For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.
2 Corinthians 6:14bsb
Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership can righteousness have with wickedness? Or what fellowship does light have with darkness?
1 Samuel 16:7bsb
But the LORD said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or height, for I have rejected him; the LORD does not see as man does. For man sees the outward appearance, but the LORD sees the heart.”
Proverbs 31:30bsb
Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
1 Timothy 5:1bsb
Do not rebuke an older man, but appeal to him as to a father. Treat younger men as brothers,
1 Corinthians 13:4bsb
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
Hebrews 13:4bsb
Marriage should be honored by all and the marriage bed kept undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterers.
1 Corinthians 7:36bsb
However, if someone thinks he is acting inappropriately toward his betrothed, and if she is beyond her youth and they ought to marry, let him do as he wishes; he is not sinning; they should get married.
1 Corinthians 7:39bsb
A wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, as long as he belongs to the Lord.
1 Peter 3:3bsb
Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair or gold jewelry or fine clothes,
Song of Songs 2:7bsb
O daughters of Jerusalem, I adjure you by the gazelles and does of the field: Do not arouse or awaken love until the time is right.
Song of Songs 8:4bsb
O daughters of Jerusalem, I adjure you: Do not arouse or awaken love until the time is right.
Galatians 5:22bsb
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,
Proverbs 15:22bsb
Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed.

On contested questions we show every major view, attributed and cited, and pick no winner. Answers are synthesized from primary sources, truth you can trace, not opinion.